The dude with a PhD in Douchbagology

One of my closest girls received a “break up” text message last week and I have to say it truly infuriates me!  I have no tolerance for spineless, cowardly ass clowns that take the easy way out of a situation. 

If you’ve signed a lease or are putting your dick in someone’s vagina on a regular basis… then it’s no longer acceptable to end things thru a text message.  Put on your big boy panties and man up!  Having an adult conversation won’t kill you.

This tech savvy, email sending, text and instant messaging, snapchatable society that we live in today is breeding a mass of people with no social etiquette.  We are becoming lost in a society where you talk to friend’s everyday but never hear their voice or see their face outside of your computer screen or mobile device.  You’re identity depicted by avatars, witty profile pictures and hash tags.  #It’sdepressing

Technology is killing any normal social interactions between people… no one stops by for a cup of coffee or simple visit anymore.  These simple moments disappear with each cold mechanical text we send one another. 

There is no replacement for sitting on the patio with a coffee sharing stories and laughs.  The kind of laughs that make your cheeks hurt and your heart warm. 

HaterNation, Population: Whogivesacrap

I tried to do this thing where I only thought happy thoughts and didn’t let the negative energy of others plague my mind.  It’s really hard though. 

I mean, hey, I’m a happy little shit if you ever met one.  No really, if you’ve ever really met me then you know what I mean.  I laugh, I joke… most of the time I’m laughing at my own jokes.

 

Nonetheless, the assclowns that I’m surrounded by just never cease to amaze me.  People really just… suck.

I do have to toot-a-loo my own horn though.  My ability to recognize the behaviors in people that remind me of past demons is really on point.  Ok… maybe not on point cuz’ it seems to still be a slower process than I want it to be.  However, I’m getting better at cutting loose and avoiding “those kinds” of social parasites.

I’m so tired of the people who create all kinds of drama and then walk around acting like little victims.  Ummm… look asshole this is what happens when you act like a douchbag.  People don’t give a rat’s ass about your petty little feelings. 

Crazy little things I’ve learned about drama queens, douchbags and wondercunts.

1.     They are by far the most retarded of all retards.  I find it hilarious when someone I can’t stand tells me they don’t like me.  This affects me how?  What??  Now we won’t be friends?  You’re an idiot!!

2.     Wanna know the funniest tactic I’ve ever seen?  The moron that goes out of their way to make eye contact with you… I mean like they couldn’t be any more obvious about wanting your attention.  Just so they can give you a dirty look.  Umm… thanks for spending so much energy on me but you should probable know… I don’t give a shit.  You sir… need medication.

3.     They are always the victim, even when they are in the wrong.  Get caught talking shit about someone and they try blaming people for ratting them out.  Almost lose control of your car because you drive like assholes and they blame the car you were trying to cut off.  Complete fuck up your job or forget how or what you did, then they lie and say they were never trained. told or taught.  Get a clue Ass-munch-a-roo… people aren’t buying into your bullshit.

 

I could go on for days dissecting the pitiful behaviors displayed by the citizens of Haternation.  Luckily, I have my own life and it’s pretty awesome.  So I could care less what’s going on in their pathetic little lives.

See, over here in NoodleNation it’s all about enjoying the sunshine, chasing after my rainbows and calling fucktards out on their shit. 

Just a regular day in Paradise!