It’s My Birthday!!

I went to bed last night at 8:45 pm.  Not sure if this is a sign of getting older but I rather enjoyed it.  I’ve become accustomed to falling asleep about 11 or 11:30 pm… usually to some ridiculous reality TV show. 

As my alarm went off this morning at 6am I had a number of “Happy Birthday” text and Facebook post.  Ahh… to feel loved.  Maybe I’m not as alone in this world as I feel some days.  Guess I should quit my whining. 

All in all I do honestly feel very much loved and am pretty excited for today.  My little journey is a work in progress and with each day I become more and more excited for the tomorrows.  All this hard work, planning, and attempting to get on top of everything will soon pay off. 

I’d like to thank everyone who’s stood beside me over the last year in a half, the friends that didn’t turn their backs on me and the family that continues to support me… I owe you all so much.

I owe so much to all of you and to Adam… who has been there to help me through so many struggles over the last year.  With out him there to support me and cheer me on I wouldn’t have accomplished as much as I have… or as much as I will in the future.

Now I’m off to celebrate my birthday… Adam’s got our night all planned out. 

Can’t wait to see what’s in store.

I’m like the Energizer Bunny, man…

My daily routine includes a stop at my favorite Starbucks in Lake Geneva.  Taking a moment to talk to the girls and other regulars, as I wait for my daily cup of heaven.  It’s part of my morning routine that I love… that and my morning chats with Craig.

Monday’s storm hit just as I was walking across the street. 

It went from a hazy just about to rain morning to a torrential down pour is less then a second… From sun creeping thru the cloud to near darkness above.  Clouds spinning, winds whipping past me… did I mention the torrential down pour?  Oh yeah… I ended up completely soaked head to toe by the time I got inside. 

However, blessed with straight hair it didn’t cause any damage.  Yay for awesome blood lines! 

The damage caused by the storm was very present on my drive home.  Fallen trees, debris along the roads and all of the farm fields on the way home had corn… on a tilt.  Sure hope this doesn’t affect Adam’s ability to enjoy some summer sweet corn. 

Life’s getting pretty busy these days.  Trying to plan a little family vacation with Adam and the Kiddo’s before we (Adam and I) head down to Louisville for my nieces wedding.  With most of the family driving down it should be a fabulous time.  Gosh I haven’t vaca’d in so long I almost forgot how exciting it is to shop for vacations, and shoes.  OMG… shoes.  It’s a much needed break after the last year.

Summer classes cruzin’ along and I only have a few weeks left.  Registration for Fall classes are this week… reminding me there’s no rest for the wicked.  I’ve always been a survivor and never depended on anyone to get me what I wanted.  Working full time and going to school sucks… it sucks hard… but once I’m done it’ll be wonderful.  I can’t wait to have a career that I love and the added stability in my life. 

Not to mention I can move anywhere in US with my degree and be set.  Florida looks more and more appealing to me everyday.  For those of you not on the “suck my ass” list… feel free to visit me if I move.

Big plans a head with all the vacation planning, wedding in Kentucky, planning for Molly’s wedding next summer, and the joys of house hunting.  I can’t wait to own grass again… though I will miss my amazing view.

If you would have asked me a year ago today what I thought my life would be like in a year this isn’t what I would have told you.  I’m truly happy; I’m filled with excitement and anticipation and though some days I miss certain things of my “past life”; I’m so grateful for where I am today. 

Happy 4th to all my Peeps!

Extended weekends are great!

Weekends that I get to spend time with my family are even greater.

So the fact that on this past extended weekend I got to spend time with my family… well I mean isn't that just kick you in the crotch, spit on your neck fantastic!!  Yes I do believe so!

I love perfectly planed weekends… time by the pool with the kids, read a good book, cookout with the family, 4^th of July Parade (could have done with out the waiting between floats) and fireworks.

It was an amazing time.  Even if Kody and I got beat at bags by Kenny and Adam.  I declare a rematch!!  Those bags weren’t regulation size!

Unfortunately, with the craziness of school I haven’t had much time to enjoy the summer.  Just a few more weeks left of summer classes and I’ll have a nice short break to hopefully spend with the family, hit up some festivals, go golfing with Craig and go on some day trips with Adam and the kids.

Much to Craig’s surprise I have a project for us this summer.  He’s such a lucky guy!  Home Depot here we come!!

It’s an on going process

So more then 6 months have past since I started this and I can say that on most days I’m happy and well adjusted.  I have my moments of sadness, wondering how some people could have done what they did and yet have no remorse. 

I get reports here and there… this happen… that happen… drama drama drama, court dates, fights, cops and family feuds.  Part of me is happy to be removed from such childish and petty bullshit but yet there is a small part of me that wonders if they’ll ever really grow up and out of that self proclaiming “I’m so badass” attitude. 

Some days I miss the giggles and silly times I had with whom I believed to be my two best girls.  The video’s of us just acting a fool and the random people we left in our obnoxious dust with a look of complete bewilderment.  The inside jokes, child-leash tally, and just simply thinking I had someone I could count on.  It was fun as it lasted.  It’s a real shame… fuck people suck.

I’ve been asked why I’m still so angry, but it’s never been anger that I feel.

It’s disappointment.

It’s disappointing to know the depths of my friendship for a person that doesn’t have the human capacity to care for anyone other then herself.  So self absorbed and narcissistic she’ll do anything to claw her way to a few dollar signs. 

It’s disappointing to think back to shopping trips, pedicures, dinners, drinks and vacations only to realize that the real lies were… who these people actually were.  One living a life of lies… the other walking away due to jealousy. 

It still surprises me when I think of the people that turned their back on me.  My two best girls… friends I’ve known for years.  It’s nothing less then disappointing and a pain that continues to follow me. 

These ghosts may be buried but they’re still haunting me. 

People told me I’d learn who my real friends are… and I sure did.